Sometimes reflection is the only means to moving forward. This has never rang so true as toward my current situation after having road tripped across America to the west coast.
I am uncertain as to what I should expect from my future here. I don't have an apartment yet. I don't have a job yet. But, I am working on both. Not to my surprise, both of these gateways of adulthood are very competitive here. It's like a giant, sprawling city resided by a bunch of Williams sisters, constantly competing for the gold. That an cheap mexican food.
It would be a lie to say I haven't been stressed. I've been stressed out of my mind. This is probably the most difficult thing that I have ever had to do in my life. I've been living out of a suitcase for the last week and a half, I've been eating out daily, and I have spent every day since arriving in LA looking for apartments/jobs. To most people, this probably poses itself as insane.
Today me and my friend Shannon decided to take a break from the hunting and the insanity of the city, to relax on the beach. We wound up at El Matador beach, upon a friend's recommendation. It was right in Malibu. The shore was a mixture of diving cliffs and dusty greenery with fits of sand coating any area where the shore-beaten boulders decided not to grow out of. It, quite literally, looked like the coast from the Little Mermaid, except I wasn't a red-head nor was I wearing a sea shell bra.
It was all to picturesque. We walked around the area and examined the atmosphere. After we found a place to plop down, I became enveloped in my own thoughts. While pacing in circles through the warm, coarse sand, I began to reflect on what I was doing with my life. It started with the negative thoughts of how ludicrous it is of me to blindly move to an unfamiliar city in order to pursue an unknown future. It then transformed into the acceptance of my decision, and the steps I must take in order to make it all work. Shortly after that list was composed, I took a step back and realized that Penn State starts its Fall Semester tomorrow. This is the first year that I will not be having a 'first day of school'. This is my first year where I am truly an adult, and that I can pursue whatever I dream of, simply, because I can.
I've come a very long way to the west coast. I left my small town to attend a huge university. I went through 4 years of a college education and met some of the best friends that I may ever have in my life. I traveled all the way across the country, through cities and states that I never imagined myself seeing. I stepped into the vast body of water as far away from my home as it could be. And it was there when I really appreciated my journey to where I am now. And letting the difficulties of this move take me down would be shameful to what I have done in order to get here.
Hard work usually pays off. Someday I hope that, succeed or fail, my story can inspire someone else to take a chance on something that generally has all odds against them. Although the roulette wheel of life is still waiting for my ball to settle, win or lose, I don't regret my journey.
